


Homestuck.EXE

by Ralte



Category: Creepypasta - Fandom, Homestuck
Genre: .EXE, Blood, Creepypasta, EXE, Hyperrealistic Blood, Trolls, Trollstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 04:36:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4815293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ralte/pseuds/Ralte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hyperrealistic Trolls and a lot of blood.<br/>A Homestuck fan got more than he ever thought and never wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Homestuck.EXE

**Author's Note:**

> Another Creepypasta Parody from me, again with Homestuck as the theme.  
> I really love Creepypasta but I also like the bad ones (if they are bad in a funny way).
> 
> I hope my dear reader that you will enjoy my next attempt of a parody-creepypasta.

==========================================================================================

One day I surfed the internet like I always do. The internet is really important to me. Thanks to it I see, read and hear so many incredible things.  
One day I wanted to see the new update of my absolute favourite webcomic in the world.  
Homestuck.

I have waited for so incredible long for in. I loved Homestuck and especially the trolls, they are the best. All the other characters are boring and the trolls are really entertaining.

There was an update today so I went on the MSPA site to watch it.  
But something about it was very strange. The site looked different. The background was black and all the text was in blood-red. Not like Kankri or Dave’s text colour but like real blood. Some of the letters even dripped blood. Also they said things like “you will die soon” or “you will not escape your fate.”

I clicked on the “load” button but I wasn’t directed to the page I saved last time but to a new page. It was a flash game, the starting screen was Karkat's head on a spear. His eyes were full of maggots and blood came out of his mouth and ears.  
It was very scary looking, I thought, but curiosity got the better of me.  
I clicked on the command “It is all meaningless.”

The game started with Jade standing in a dark and desolate room. She looked scared and held her best rifle in her hands. I moved her towards the door in the upper right corner where somebody was standing. It was one of the Felt, their third-in-command Crowbar. The mouse turned into a scope sight and Crowbar ran towards Jade as he spotted her. I didn’t waste any time and clicked on him with the scope. Jade shot and I got a close shot of him. He looked almost real, well, as real as a leprechaun could look, and I watched in slow-motion as a super-realistic looking bullet pierced through Crowbars ultra-realistic head and blew his mega-realistic looking head up in a hyper-realistic looking way.

I was concerned. Hussie was nobody to shy away from some violence but this was way too far off for him. Jade took the crowbar from, well, the dead Crowbar and I continued with her into the next room. 

The next room was full of blood. The ceiling was covered in blood and it dropped from it, the walls were covered in blood, the ground was covered in blood, the blood reached above Jade’s hip and Jade herself started to bleed out of her nose.  
It was a bloody mess and I felt a little sick watching it.  
Why would anyone program something like this of or even commission somebody to do it?

Suddenly Karkat, covered in the red blood, surfaced behind Jade and snapped her neck with his bare hands.  
This scene disturbed me so much I had to go to the toilet to take a pee.

After I returned Karkat had already stabbed Dirk through the heart with a katana, smashed Clubs Deuce's head in and had ripped Sollux's eyes out and eaten them.  
Sollux ran through the room shooting a red and a blue bloodstream out of his respective eyes. It was nauseating, especially the part where he took his own ninja stars, and got them to spin so fast with his telekinesis he was able to decapitate himself.

I now had control over Karkat and left the place of his gruesome murders with him. He entered a cave full of shipping charts.  
This had to be Nepeta’s cave, she was the only person in Homestuck who shipped.  
I moved Karkat through the cave and looked at the different shipping charts.  
The ships were… unusual to say the least. There was a picture of Eridan in a Moirallegiance with Bec where the two eat the damaged corpse of Jade Harley. Eridan was munching on one of the eyes and Bec was chewing on Jade’s stomach.  
It was more than disgusting to watch. I couldn’t comprehend why any of them would do that, especially Bec.  
It made me so nervous that I had to take a shit.  
While walking through the house I thought I saw an omega-realistic Kanaya walking into the room of my big sister but that was probably my imagination.

As I returned to Karkat I watched more of the gruesome ships with him.  
Like Hearts Boxcars and Mituna in a kismesissitude. The picture showed how they bit each other; no, they were mutually tearing bits of flesh from each other's bodies.  
I knew that a kismesissitude could be a little harsh but this?!  
I decide to not look at more of those shipping pictures and tried to find Nepeta.

She sat on the ground in her respite block and was playing with some puppets who looked like her friends. It looked cute at first but on closer inspection I saw her monitoring a monitor. It showed Sollux and Horuss and they bled heavily. Nepeta meanwhile poked the dolls who looked like the two trolls on the monitor with a very pointy looking needle. No, she wasn't poking them, she was driving the needle through their bodies, extremities and heads. Every time that happened a new bloody wound appeared on the bodies of Sollux and Horuss. They screamed in pain and puked blood all over the place until they fell down dead.

After that Nepeta faced Karkat. She didn’t have a face anymore. The skin on her face was gone and only an olive mass under it was visible now. Her eyes were still yellow but without a black pupil and she screamed a scream so loud it almost damaged my speakers. Then she lunged at Karkat and one of the most difficult battles I ever had in a videogame started.  
I won it but I felt as hurt and injured as Karkat at the end of it. I imagined for a second that I had the same wounds as Karkat on my body. But luckily this wasn’t the case because Karkat succumbed to his wounds. The screen faded to black.

The entire scene had me made so frightful I had to take a piss.  
As I washed my hands afterwards I thought the grinning face of Spades Slick was in the bathroom mirror. As I turned around I saw only a puppet of Lil’ Cal before me that I bought from a guy in a back alley. I shrugged, took the puppet with me and continued to play the game.

I controlled Kanaya now. She was in her hive and its interior design looked strange to me. Like always it was draped with fabrics but they looked horrific this time! They were made out of flesh, bleeding heavily, were strewn with maggots or completely made out of bones.  
Kanaya herself didn’t look much better. Her own dress was made of human skin and paper where inmates from an insane asylum used to scribble crazy stuff.  
To be honest I didn’t want to play as her because her weapon was the chainsaw, a classic for psychopathic murderers. But I didn’t have any choice in the matter and moved her out of her hive. The area around her hive looked rotten and dead. The plants were grey and lifeless. In the centre of this lifeless setting was Kanaya’s mother grub Lusus. She looked very alive and well. She smiled as her eyes caught the view of her charge and Kanaya looked towards her. I walked over to the mother grub and pushed the button.  
Kanaya activated her chainsaw, cut her Lusus open and ripped the Matriorb out of her chest. The Lusus screamed in pain and writhed in agony until it died.  
Kanaya looked at the matriorb, fascinated, and all of a sudden she took a bite out of it.  
This behaviour was more than strange for Kanaya.

After that I was controlling her again and send her out into the desert. She soon reached an ordinary looking pyramid and entered it. The inside was dark but many scary looking glyphs that glowed blood-red were lighting up the inside. Nailed to the walls were the bodies of trolls, humans and lusus. It looked so horrific that I thought that I could smell the stench of this awful place. It made me so nervous I had to eat a donut!

Then zombies attacked. Rotten bodies of dead trolls came out of the aisles, alcoves and holes and attacked Kanaya. She turned on her chainsaw and defended herself with incredibly gory results. Body parts fell down, guts and organs soon were rolling over the ground and smearing it with blood in all colours. Kanaya sawed her way through the fiendish horde of the shadow droppers and fought her way to the main room of the pyramid. The boss-room was full with corpses of little human children and grubs. They were being cannibalized by the shadow droppers.  
I asked myself: Why the heck would Hussie do something like this?  
“Because dead babies sell”, said a hyper-realistic looking Hussie who was suddenly standing beside me. He waved to me and left the room. This seemed rather odd to me and I continued to play.

In the boss-room was the sarcophagus of Lord English placed on a little obsidian-black platform. Very strange scary music started to play which sounded so realistic as if an orchestra was with me in the room.  
The sarcophagus slowly started to open, and a green bleeding hand reached out and clamped to the edge of the sarcophagus. Out came a cherub with no skin.  
It was such a horrible sight that blood came out of my ears. Lord English bled all over, the muscle tissue was visible, his eyes had no lids and his eyes glowed in a way… I can’t explain it exactly but it was worse than the usual billiard ball blinking.  
The eyes looked like real eyes; also how real eyes would look like if they are continuously changing billiard balls.

The Lord of Time stumbled out of his sarcophagus and fell to the ground. He writhed in pain and screamed in agony. He stretched his hand out to Kanaya who cut it off.  
The Lord of Time screamed in an unbearably loud manner, so loud that it destroyed all the windows in my room and all the other objects made of glass.  
Kanaya took her time. She sawed all his limbs off and then started to disembowel him with her bare hands. He screamed even louder this time, so loud I had to press my hands on my ears and I still felt blood coming out of them. The screaming stopped after a while and Lord English was dead.  
So, was Homestuck over?  
“It is never over”, Kanaya said as if she was answering the question I just asked myself. “There will always somebody worse. Never time to rest. Why should we believe that he is our final enemy?”  
This was a good point. Homestuck could be incredible convoluted and complicated and Caliborn didn’t look like Big Bad material even in his all-powerful form.  
But who could be the next Big Bad? Kanaya targeted then the chainsaw into her direction and cut herself in half. Her halves slumped to the sides and her internal organs spread all over the floor.  
Then her chainsaw said “I’m the death of the insolent and fanatic.”

After that I ran back to my bathroom to wash my face. Looking into the mirror I saw that I now had the face of Nepeta. I rubbed my eyes and it was gone. But I swear I saw Nepeta with Equius head on one of her claws in the mirror.

I returned to my room only to witness total madness on my computer screen.  
I saw Rose on a new location, summoning the forces from beyond the realm, the horrorterrors, to wreck havoc. They came from the ground, they came from the seas, they came from the heavens and they came out from rifts in the time-space-continuum. They devoured the Prospitians, they crushed the Dersites, they mauled the humans, scared the trolls to death and burned the Cherubim alive.  
Not any of the named characters of Homestuck, mind you, but it didn’t diminish the nightmarish character of the scene.

Then it switched over to Eridan, crushing little landweller grubs with his feet. I found this odd because despite his evil deeds, he wasn’t a bad person. Yes, he killed Feferi and Kanaya and destroyed the Matriorb, but he did all of this in self-defence!  
Seeing how the land dweller-hating aristocrat killed land dwelling grubs didn’t make any sense to me.  
Then Vriska entered the room and I took control of her. I was able to attack Eridan with her and her goal was to protect the land dwelling grubs. It was strange to see because Vriska was completely evil and unredeemable. Why would any person think she would ever be able to do any good for anyone? This was the moment that I was certain that something was very wrong with this update.  
“Killing grubs? You sicken me Eridan.”  
“They are land dwellers. We don’t need them, they are inferior and useless.”  
“Your caste needs us as workers and servants. Killing us all would obliterate the entire alternian workforce!”  
“We have robots for that.”  
“That will only lead to a robot-rebellion you sea dwelling asshole!”  
“We created the robots. We will control them. They will never rebel.”  
“You don’t watch a lot of movies, do you?”

Fighting with Vriska against Eridan was a lot of fun, gameplay wise. She dodged shots from “Ahab’s Crosshairs” fired by Eridan and used her dice on him. Every time Vriska’s dice managed to give her an opening she used the chance to slash at Eridan with her sword. After attacking him several times that way he got reeled backwards away from Vriska and stumbled into a hole. He fell onto several sharp spears which where placed on the ground of the hole. But to my horror they didn’t kill him instantly. He moaned and gasped weakly, pleading to be absolved from this pain. Vriska took out a flintlock pistol and aimed at Eridans head but before she could shoot him the spears drove out of the ground. The staffs were incredible long and they moved incredible fast. Vriska was able to dodge them before they could impale her too. She aimed at Eridans head again and took her shot before he was out of distance. The bullet connected to his skull and it exploded in an extreme-realistic manner. I felt pity for Eridan. Vriska’s head should have exploded and not his.

The spider-troll then walked away from the hole and I started to look around. It seemed that Vriska was in the brooding caverns which made sense considering the killed and crushed grubs. As I pressed the action-button Vriska took the dead grubs and gave them a burial. Why did this game want to convince me that Vriska is a good person?  
Vriska then turned her head to me. No, not the monitor but me, she looked me into my eyes. “Run, you are not safe here! Run as fast as you can and take your family with you. Call the police and maybe he will not be able to…”  
Vriska stopped as she heard a noise and turned her head toward the cause. Her face became chalk-white from shock and she ran away.  
The screen turned black.

I of course wouldn’t trust Vriska. She was super-evil after all.

I saw the “repeat” symbol on the left bottom of the screen so I guessed that this page was finished.  
I clicked on the command that read ”THIS IS YOUR DOOM!” and continued.  
The next few pages were dark. But it was somehow even darker than usual darkness. It was a darkness that was so dark that it terrified me more than the regular darkness I have known my whole life would ever be able too.  
I clicked and clicked until I jumped back in horrified surprise as one page showed me the bloody, screaming skinless face of John. He yelled in pain and howled in agony.  
What the hell happened to him?  
“Runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunru nrunrunrunrunrun!”  
John said to me again and again. Was he warning me about something or somebody? Was it the same thing that did this to him?  
I heard weird noises from below. It sounded like a fight broke out. I wasn’t sure so I decided to investigate. Downstairs I was confronted with Vriska who was in a fight with Spades Slick. He had his cast iron horse hitcher in hands and Vriska used her blue pirate sword to fight him. It seemed to be a very even fight, with both testing the defence of the other.  
Slick spotted me and looked ominously at me. He drew his machine gun and aimed in my direction but Vriska faced the weapon away from me and she punched him in the face.

“Run away!”, she screamed to me. “Your family fled already. Follow them!”  
I didn’t do that of course. Why should I trust her? She was evil and not nice unlike Eridan or Gamzee.  
Also I wanted to finish the game so I got back upstairs and continued it.

Now I saw Dave sitting alone in his room, crying into his hands. He didn't have his shades on him and he cried like… I never saw him cry in canon, so I had no point of reference.  
It sounded incredibly sad, it almost broke my heart. I clicked on the arrow and the picture didn’t change for a few pages. Crying Dave on every page but I started to hear how he was crying. It was faint at first but became louder and after a few pages another sound joined the crying. It was a very deep, eerie sounding tone. It sounded like a noise of an ancient and angry demon but also surprisingly soft at the same time. It became louder and louder but not in an obnoxious way. The tension was rising and started to become unbearable.  
Dave stopped crying and the sound stopped too. He removed his hands and looked direct at me. I almost fell over from horror. His eyes were burning in black red and the flames seemed to scream so loud was their sound of burning.  
I was about to throw up again as Dave took his Katana and hacked his own eyes out with them. Then he continued to hack away his own legs, bottom, head and his arms.

Then Bro came into the room with Caliborn on his right shoulder. He saw the bloody mutilated body of Dave, jumped onto him and started to eat him. He tore big chunks of flesh and skin from Dave’s body and devoured it like a hungry animal. Why the heck had Bro become a cannibal all of a sudden? Then Lil’ Cal started to eat Dave too.  
It was really messed up, especially because Dave was not reacting at all to this.  
Then Dave started to laugh in a normal and pleasant manner. It wasn’t in a crazy manner or in an insane manner, no, it sounded perfectly normal and hyper-realistic.  
Bro eating him was like tickling for Dave?

I couldn’t watch that scene any longer and clicked to the next page.  
“YOU WILL NOT GET AWAY FROM ME!”, something screamed out of my speakers.  
“We will see about that asshole”, I responded. The reaction was swift with Lil’ Cal punching me through the screen into my face, grinning at me and vanishing afterwards.  
I really needed to see the rest of this. 

The next page contained another flash, this time one of Jane attacking Cronus, ripping his arms from his body and beating him to a bloody pulp with them. The flash continued with Terezi stabbing her own eyes out and then the eyes of Latula and ripping her head of.  
Next was a scene with the Peregrine Mendicant who was stabbing the Writ Keeper with her sword. After she ripped his brain out and devoured it she took the still living body of the Writ Keeper and threw him into a fire. He screamed more agonizing, super-realistic screams and he screamed to me: “RUN, RUN, RUN!”

I didn’t know what to do with that message so I continued to watch. The next scene was one where Jake was burning down an orphanage while Roxy was shooting the orphans in the head or strangling them to death. I was glad that those sections weren’t playable sections.

Then we saw John crushing the heads of Dersites and Prosportians with his hammer, their heads exploding in a ultra-realistic manner. He laughed manically while crying in a heart wrenching manner at the same time while he was running amok. His eyes were black holes out of which came a foul wind in form of dark smelly looking wind-effects. Everything that wind was brushing rotted and died in a manner of seconds, even stuff that wasn’t alive like stone and plastic looked like it was dying.

I heard a noise and looked behind me. I saw Eridan who aimed at me with Ahab’s crosshairs. I screamed that he shouldn’t do that but he did. He fired and hit my head which exploded in an ultra-realistic manner. After that I woke up and my head was completely okay. I looked around in my room, nobody was there. I looked to the screen and I almost fell down out of my seat. I saw my own body without a head!  
Was I in Homestuck now? Was I part of Homestuck? How could that be? Was all of this a nightmare? Was I asleep?

I didn't have time to ponder these questions because suddenly Tavros appeared on the screen with a really scary looking hyper-realistic face. His left eye was missing, his right was pierced with one thousand needles and his teeth were full of holes and out of those holes came big hairy worms. “Help me…”, he gasped in a painful noise.  
I looked at him, horrified. I wanted to help, but how? I saw that the command box was there again and usable like once in the past. I typed “get help” into the box. Tavros took out a magnum, held the barrel to his head and blew his own brains out. I hadn’t meant that he should do that.  
I typed “Why did this happen?”  
And on the next page it replied. This was the message written in letters made out of freshly ripped out bones:  
“Because you made it happen. IT IS YOUR FAULT!”  
NO! How could it be my fault? I didn’t know that would happen, I would never have typed that command if I knew that this would be the result.

I tried a different command. I typed “What is happening here”?  
I got the message “The eternal end, the eternal reign of darkness is coming!”  
I typed “do you mean Lord English?”  
I didn’t got a response for a while. I was tempted to type in another command as THIS happened:  
Sollux suddenly appeared and jumped out of my screen and into my direction and screamed: “DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE YOU STUPID PIECE OF WORTHLESS SHIT, DIE!” Sollux tried to strangle me and I fought back with all my might. He tried to claw my eyes out and I saw how his eyes started to glow. I was able to throw him off me before he could incinerate me with his optic blast. It got off nonetheless and catapulted Sollux through the roof of my house. 

This made me very hungry so I ran into the kitchen to make myself a sandwich.  
I also encountered John’s dad in the Kitchen who was making a cake out of organs he pulled out of the still living body of his son. I made my sandwich as quick as I possibly could and ran away from the morbid scene back to my computer. My screen showed me now a single letter.  
“A”.  
This was a clue! A clue to solve this riddle! I had to wait for more updates to solve those strange events around me.

I will update this journal should new developments happen. I will stay here and try to go to the bottom of this mystery.  
Nothing will stop me. It seems crazy but I’m set with my decision. Even if that evil Vriska shouts to me again and again that I should flee.  
I will not.  
I’m scared but I have to stop this madness. 

 

To be continued…?

==========================================================================================


End file.
